Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Found your dick twin last night
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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