what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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