friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
