Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
4 words: hood of his car
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize