We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize