I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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