so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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