I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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