hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Barsexuality is the new black.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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