Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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