the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize