You work out of a Hotel?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
