I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize