I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
