White coat. Heels.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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