He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
