They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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