just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
