Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize