ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
