Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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