yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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