my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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