Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
