He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
