So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
