You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
