CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
