HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
