have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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