I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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