Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
