She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He has the fingertips of a God
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