someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
