I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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