Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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