Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
