Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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