she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
