But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
