Having a random hookup so left but love u
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
