He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You can't special order awesome
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
