I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
