Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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