I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize