We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
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