U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
