This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize