3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
