just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize