i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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