it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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