What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want nice things and good sex
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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