She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
