I think I died a long time ago.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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