thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
