Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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