Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
