Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
