porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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