sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
