I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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