after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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