her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
