is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
