guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
