and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize