I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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