"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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