We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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