I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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