How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
